"RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME": WHAT POSSIBLE PHARMACEUTICAL INSANITY COULD BE NEXT?

Restless Leg Syndrome.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

WTF.

This is like someone claiming they have: "Post Workout Exhaustion Disorder"

Patient: "Doc, I just worked out and now I'm SO TIRED! What could be the problem??"
Doctor: "You're an idiot."

What's next after Restless Leg Syndrome, "Twitching Eyelid Disease?"

"Doc, Doc! My eyelid was doing this funny thing where it moves up and down at will??! WHat COUld IT be!??"

"Well my trusty patient who has kept me in business for far too long with insane pharmaceutical purchases, it could be that your eyelid is doing this thing that it does to keep dirt and debris out of the eye and keep the eye moist. This procedure is also known as blinking. I know, its scary. But there will be a new drug out soon to treat it. A new drug that will cause you to lose all bowel control at an inopportune time in public, it could cause dry mouth, wet skin, stomach cramps, menstrual bleeding in men, nipples that stay erect for longer than three hours for women (please see a doctor immediately in this case as this could be the sign of a problem), it could cause your hair to start growing inward toward your brain thus causing you to be bald AND brain dead and in a vegetable-like state within 3 weeks of taking the aforementioned drug - but nevermind those side-effects because, my trusty patient, your eyelid WILL - STOP - BLINKING. Even if you will no longer be alive, it will - stop - blinking. They are developing a logo and a brand and a drug and a t-shirt and a theme song and hiring Tom Skerritt (yes, the guy from Top Gun because he probably has restless legs since he hasn't done anything to speak of since Top Gun. hm. well i guess he DID do steel magnolias...) to be the spokesman, and hell, while they're at it they're going to come up with a catchy tag line. Maybe something like: Try our drug "Blink Free." 'Blink Free: For when you want to be free from blinking.' Because Everyone knows that people who F'ing blink too much are guilty."

For the love. of. god. Did you see the early TV commercials about "Restless Leg Syndrome?" What kind of asinine, inane B.S. is being perpetrated on us now? And of course, there is a DRUG to fix it. You can sleep better tonight now. Right? You can sleep better knowing that just as quickly as they can develop and have new drugs approved that they can make up a new disease for it to treat?

Yes. I said make up a new drug and THEN define the disease that it treats. Not, find a disease and then develop a drug to treat it. Why wait for a disease to treat when they can simply prey on our already weak, overmarketed-to populace with another drug that we can go request from our doctors.

Restless Leg Syndrome. Let's examine what this means etymologically word for word. No. Actually, lets call it what it is. Lies. Stupidity. Misconception. Misleading. Insanity. Ridiculous. What horse's a$$ came up with this. Restless Leg Syndrome is your legs' way of saying to your body and brain "You suck. Move around."

Restless Leg Syndrome. Another "syndrome" that can have a nice logo and brand created for it and then develop a foundation to collect money for drug research WHEN THE ONLY THING NEEDED IS FOR THESE PEOPLE TO GET OFF OF THEIR A$$ AND STOP B*TCHING ABOUT RESTLESS LEGS.

Restless leg syndrome. Sounds like an SNL skit. Or even one of those fake commercials that they play - generally after the SNL monologue where they play a complete farce of a commercial for some ridiculous pointless product.

Somewhere, somehow there is a pointless person receiving a pointless salary for a pointless job and a pointless medical "syndrome" (which is what they call anything that can't be defined) and answering the phone "Restless Leg Foundation. How can we help you on the road to recovery?"

And the RLS logo which looks somewhat like the sun? The sun you haven't seen because you have been sitting on your lazy a$$ and haven't actually seen the sun in recent history because we're also now terrified that the sun is going to vaporize us in a puff of cancerous smoke if we leave the house, when in actuality, ALL LIFE COMES FROM THE SUN. Yes, its still up there and shining away. Waiting for you to come visit. But the logo is there to remind you what it looks like since you apparently haven't done anything to enjoy it. The marketing genius behind this "Well, our victims probably don't know what the hell the sun looks like anymore. Let's remind them. It's a new day."

AND GUESS WHAT! THERE IS A FOUNDATION FOR THIS! OF COURSE! BECAUSE WHERE ELSE WOULD ALL OF THOSE WITH RESTLESS LEGS GO! THEY WOULDN'T ACTUALLY GET UP AND MOVE THOSE LEGS, THEY SHOULD SIT AT HOME AND KEEP THOSE LEGS STATIONARY AND SEARCH FOR HELP ON THE RLS FOUNDATION WEBSITE.

Friends, if this wasn't so serious, it would be hilarious. I challenge you. When their website was first launched, it had a menu link at the top that says "I Have Restless Legs" that actually has multiple menu options under this drop down. The only thing that should be present under that menu option is a message that says "STOP WASTING TIME ON THIS WEBSITE YOU LOSER AND GET OFF YOUR A$$ AND GO FOR A WALK."

You can even join their membership! Please do. And then you will assuredly be WELL on your way to recovery.

Their newsletter was called NightWalkers. Sounds like a farcical horror-comedy flick. Or maybe it sounds too close to Nightcrawlers. You could also get a handy membership card. To SHOW TO WHO?! FOR WHAT PURPOSE?! To show your doctor so that he will know without a question that you are an idiot and that you are a prime candidate to buy whatever crap drugs they are selling you?

Can you believe this crap.

Here was the definition of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS).  THIS WAS COPIED DIRECTLY FROM THEIR WEBSITE. My comments in red:

• RLS occurs during periods of inactivity. (Yes, get off your a$$.)
• Become more sensitive in the evening and at night. (Give me a break.)
• RLS is relieved by the movement of the limb. (No kidding. Limbs were meant to be moved. Get your lazy can up off the couch and MOVE around and you will have no problems with this part.)
• Often cause difficulty staying or falling asleep, which leads to feelings of daytime tiredness or fatigue (No. Kidding. How much better do I sleep personally when I have had a good workout. I sleep like a log. You will have NO trouble if you move around like human beings are in existence to do.)
• May cause involuntary jerking of the limbs during sleep and sometimes during wakefulness (I'm spent. This is insanity that people swallow this hook line and sinker.)

They even had a national meeting in Orlando. Wow. I bet that will be a rip roaring good time. A bunch of lazy bastards laying around not able to do anything because they have restless legs.

And support groups. A link in the menu even to "Support Groups." Wow. Someone please send this blog post to them when their contact info is available. Someone save those restless legs! The ONLY thing that needs to be present under this menu option is a link to a personal trainer in your area that will whip your a$$ into shape.

You see, in the "old days," oh you know 12 or 15 years ago when I actually WENT to the doctor and wasn't sickened by the way symptom-based medicine treats patients, the doctor would check you out and then prescribe a drug or give a sample to try IF IT WAS NECESSARY. But now, thanks to mass media and modern science, we can self-diagnose and TREAT OURSELVES before we even walk into a doctor's office! How does that make you feel?

When is the last time anyone actually cured a disease? Salk curing Polio in the 1950's and 60's? And then what happened. The drug companies realized that they would lose billions of dollars. Please don't be naive enough to believe that the powers that be don't suppress cures.

The drug companies RUN COMMERCIALS, and OBTAIN MEDIA BUYS in all major publications and television channels (What do you think drives the cost of our drugs up so high? Think about it. Don't be sheep.) so that you can be exposed to their product relentlessly so that you ACTUALLY believe you need this drug so that you can REQUEST it when you go to the doctor (because if someone is going to decide what toxic pharmaceutical substance to put into your body it might as well be YOU and not a doctor since apparently doctors don't know anything about treating health problems with nutrition anyway because why waste extra time in medical school talking about nutrition and / or correcting the SOURCE of the problem rather than the symptom, when we can just churn out more clones that will write prescriptions to keep the money flowing and keep us in bondage to them) so that the doctor will actually PRESCRIBE it so that the drug companies can make MONEY off of the health insurance that you're ALSO PAYING FOR so that they can continue to run drug ads and continue the cycle over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Don't believe the lies.

Have a strong day, people.